• One of a Kind Candidate: Allen Hill, Angelina County, TX

    Everyone loves a comeback kid, especially when the kid comes back from buying hashish in Germany.

    Allen Hill, 45, is running for sheriff of Angelina County, Texas. But his past has been dug up by a shadowy figure who may be trying to ruin his campaign. Intrigue! Someone in Lufkin, Texas is circulating an unsigned e-mail about Hill's drug past; according to the Lufkin Daily News, when Hill was stationed in Germany 28 years ago during a stint in the Army, he was caught buying hashish. But now he's turned his life around for the better… which is what someone would say if he or she didn't enjoy the sweet, mellow ride of hashish.

    Hill has been a police officer since 1994 and now runs the county's two-man narcotics unit – maybe "unit" is too strong a word for this situation. Hill runs the county's narcotics duet, that's better, and he spends his days shutting down Texas' strip malls of meth labs. All of a sudden hash doesn't sound so bad, now does it? Real talk.

    Hill told reporters in Lufkin that his goal is to help people who use drugs. "I don't arrest people who use drugs. I arrest people who make and sell drugs." So relax, everyone in high school, except for that one guy with the super thick mustache who's always hanging out at Smoker's Alley. But when you're in law enforcement in Texas and you were caught buying hash as a young'un, you kind of have to go out of your way to show you're clean. "Every time there's a drug test, even if I'm not on the list, I volunteer for it. That's a fact," Hill added. This man will pee in any cup you've got. Right now.

    When all's said and done and smoked, Hill believes his youthful mistake with drugs taught him important lessons and has made him a better law enforcement officer. There you have it, folks: drugs can make you a better law enforcement officer, or a better part-time blogger. "Spaghetti omelet jumpsuit," the razzle-dazzle moon cat said.

    Photo by Thomas Winz/Photolibrary/Getty Images

    Previously: Raaheela Ahmed, "Teen Party candidate."

    Our friends at Dr Pepper are going to send Mr. Hill a one-of-a-kind t-shirt, and you get to choose its slogan:

    Want a custom t-shirt of your own? Of course you do! Head to DrPepper.com and get started.


    Tags: Drugs, One of a Kind Candidates, Texas

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