• Osama bin Laden Sought to Cripple U.S. with Joe Biden Presidency

    Joe Biden is truly the Rodney Dangerfield of American politics: He just doesn't get any respect. Not only is he a target for late-night jokes, he was also the lynchpin in a terrorist plot to tear down the Great Satan by installing a buffoon as its president

    "The reason for concentrating on [President Obama and Gen. David H. Petraeus],” the al-Qaeda leader explained to his top lieutenant, "is that Obama is the head of infidelity and killing him automatically will make [Vice President] Biden take over the presidency…

    "Biden is totally unprepared for that post, which will lead the U.S. into a crisis. As for Petraeus, he is the man of the hour… and killing him would alter the war’s path” in Afghanistan.

    Had we known what the terrorist mastermind was planning, we could have saved him some gloating time by mentioning that The Onion is not an actual news source.

    Sure, Joe Biden suffers from a crippling case of Gaffitis, but he's still a seasoned politician with decades of knowledge about how Washington D.C. works. It's dubious that Biden could single-handedly throw his bitchin' Camaro in reverse and devolve this country back down "The Road We've Traveled."

    Americans are a lot more resilient that bin Laden thought. After all, we survived eight years with the fear of a President Cheney looming above our heads.

    Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Dick Cheney, George Bush, Joe Biden, Osama bin Laden


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