• Rick Perry, Stand-Up Comedian

    Certainly there's no joke funnier in that laugh-to-keep-yourself-from-uncontrollable-sobbing-as-you-hug-yourself-and-rock-gently-back-forth-and-try-to-go-to-your-happy-place way than the idea that Rick Perry could  have been President of the United States, but Perry gave it the old D-student college try at the Gridiron Club. His five best zingers, in my opinion:

    Perry said his Texas A&M degree in animal husbandry is "what Rick Santorum thinks gay marriage leads to."

    On Ron Paul: "He's the crazy uncle you expect to pull a nickel out of your ear."

    On George W. Bush: "My favorite part [of his presidential library] is the petting zoo." And..

    "The only difference between George and me is I say 'oops.'"

    On Mitt Romney:  "I like Mitt Romney as much as any good-looking man can like another good-looking man and not break Texas law."

    That last joke is funny because… Texas law is frequently horrible, and it took a decision by the Supreme Court to invalidate the statute that did, in fact, make criminals out of loving couples. Still, a pretty good, self-aware performance. Who knew so much comedy could be found in the realization that Perry was the stupid Texas governor?

    Photo by Jonathan Gibby/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: George Bush, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul


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