• Park Slope Food Co-op Votes Against Israeli Hummus Boycott

    If the next few editions of the New York Times are thinner than usual, there's a simple explanation. When the universe conspires to let New York journalists write about the grocery shopping habits of Brooklyn yuppies and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in the very same article, there are bound to be casualties — few editors can survive the orgasm caused by that kind of confluence.

    The story of the century, if you live in an alternative universe where health care reform isn't before the Supreme Court and security forces aren't cracking down on rebels in Syria, is last night's Park Slope Food Co-op vote on whether the grocery cooperative should have a separate vote to decide whether to boycott Israeli products by joining the Boycott, Divestment, and Sanction movement…

    The vote, conducted by paper ballot, came during the Brooklyn co-op's monthly general meeting, with 1,005 people voting against the motion to hold a referendum on a boycott, and 653 in favor…

    Tensions at the co-op, on Union Street, had been climbing to a breaking point in recent weeks as the members, numbering about 16,300, weighed the matter. Reporters and television trucks had become a common site outside the co-op's doors. Advocates passed leaflets with increasing urgency. Politicians and pundits weighed in. And emotions, in at least one instance, spilled over into fisticuffs.

    Prior to the vote, names of Co-op volunteers were drawn at random. Sadly, and despite the aforementioned brawl, the winners of the lottery would not be asked to engage in Hunger Games-style gladiatorial combat to secure organic, local, free-range produce for their families. Instead, they'd be allowed to speak and remind us why rising sea levels cannot come to Brooklyn soon enough…

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    So that's where they learn these torturous public speaking techniques…

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    Does your friend's Fort Greene walk-up feel especially fresh and clean? The secret is enemas…

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     In any case, the meeting disbanded peacefully, so I assume the Middle East's intractable problems have been solved and also we'll never have to hear about the parochial concerns of Brooklyn residents ever again.

    Photo by Lilli Day/Photodisk/Getty Images


    Tags: Food, Israel, Jewish, New York, New York Times, Palestine

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