• Rick Santorum to Speak at Jelly Belly Headquarters Because Reagan

    During this primary season, all of the GOP candidates have been in a Reagan-loving arms race. Because it'd be politically unpopular to sell weapons to Iran, Rick Santorum had to settle for the next best thing and deliver a foreign policy address at Jelly Belly headquarters

    The choice of venue is an homage to Ronald Reagan, whose fondness for the candies was well known. Reagan, who famously kept a jar of the candies on his desk in the Oval Office, regularly received Jelly Belly shipments during his tenure as California governor and even sent the first jelly beans into space on the 1983 Challenger shuttle.

    As Rick's address will make clear, he plans to deal with foreign policy in the most Reaganly way possible, which I assume means he'll pool all his efforts towards fighting the encroachment of the Soviet Union while misunderstanding Bruce Springsteen lyrics.

    Why stop there? Ronald Reagan starred alongside a chimp in Bedtime for Bonzo. Why doesn't Rick Santorum deliver his next speech to a room full of monkeys trained to clap whenever the name Reagan is said aloud? That plan makes about as much sense as delivering a foreign policy foreign policy speech at a place where they make candy for children.

    Photo by T.J. Kirkpatrick/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Food, Foreign Policy, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Ronald Reagan

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.