• Meet Vicky Hartzler, the Laziest Birther in Congress

    To date,  Missouri Congresswoman Vicky Hartzler has been best known for comparing same-sex marriage to incest, polygamy and the issuance of driver licenses to 3-year-olds.

    Now, Hartzler is an emerging contender for the title of world's laziest birther, an honor accorded to conspiracy theorists who maximize their nuttery regarding Barack Obama's Hawaiian birth, while minimizing efforts to confirm or deny their theories. Hartzler's comments came after a constituent and a local paper asked for the congresswoman's comments on Sheriff Joe Arpaio's investigation of Obama's origins

    I don't know, I haven't seen it. I'm just at the same place you are on that. You read this, you read that. But I don't understand why he didn't show that right away. I mean, if someone asked for my birth certificate, I'd get my baby book and hand it out and say 'Here it is,' so I don't know.

    I have doubts that it is really his real birth certificate, and I think a lot of Americans do, but they claim it is, so we are just going to go with that.

    Hartzler's press secretary told reportershis boss was merely parroting the views of the people who elected her, and Hartzler herself tried to explain that she was simply stating that "that this issue has been raised by many," but I think this see-no-birth-certificate approach represents a helpful metaphysical breakthrough.

    I, for one, doubt that there really is a person named Vicky Hartzler. You read this, you read that about her comparisons of same-sex marriage to pedophilia. But I don't understand why I haven't seen a Wikipedia entry or a Roll Call profile for her. Granted, I haven't looked for evidence of Hartzler's existence, but if someone asked me if I really existed, I'd go up to them and say 'Here I am,' so I don't know.

    I have doubts that there's someone as awful as Vicky Hartzler out there, and I think a lot of Americans do too, but some of these blog posts claim she exists, so I guess we are just going to go with that.


    Related: Sheriff Joe Arpaio Discovers Massive Conspiracy Against Him

    Photo by Bill Clark/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images

    Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Conspiracies, House of Representatives, Joe Arpaio, Missouri, Vicky Hartzler


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