You probably don't know this, but there are two different kinds of marriages. The first one is based on the classic penis-in-vagina model, and the other is the (also classic) penis-in-bottom model, AKA sodomy. The difference between the two is that the first model is what God wants, and the other is an attack by "demonic forces" to unleash a "hellish" and "evil doctrine" on society.
Don't feel bad if you didn't know this indisputable fact of emotional non-science — an anti-gay Super PAC that is opposing marriage equality in Maine is still trying to get the message out.
Recently, this group of Maineiacs distributed a "truth pledge" during Pride Week at the University of Maine. Here is an excerpt…
I pledge that I will…
3. Use the term "Sodomy Based Marriage" and avoid the deceptive terms "same sex or gay marriage."
4. Inform my friends and neighbors that the term "same sex marriage" contains two contradictory terms, and is therefore, illogical, false, and absurd.
I guess "same sex marriage" does contain two contradictory terms: "sex" and "marriage." Maybe there are two different kinds of marriages. The first one is one where two adults have consensual sex whenever they want to and in any orifice, and the other is what these uptight bigots have: an "Ew Genitals Are Super Icky Based Marriage."
Photo by David McNew/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Christianity, LGBT, Maine, Marriage Equality, Sex