What's Next for Rick Santorum?

We thought this day would never come. And by "we" I mean Rick Santorum. He's suspended his campaign and opened the front door to the GOP nomination for Mitt Romney. (Although that was pretty much wide open anyway.)

So, what's next for the most moral crusade-y of the Republican candidates? Will he travel the world? Write another book? Sit alone and try to ignore the fact that he's about as likely to win the primary without even trying as he was when he was campaigning around the country?

Probably all those things. Plus so much more…

1. Explore a Jelly Belly endorsement deal.

2. Get one of those cardboard body signs and warn city-dwellers about the Devil.

3. Almost be racist.

4. Maybe get away from Pennsylvania for a while; no one likes him there.

5. See what all the fuss is with this porn thing.

6. Another endorsement, assuming it's cool with the Jelly Belly people. Maybe an Urban Outfitters sweater vest line?

7. Vote Romney.

8. Practice bowling. Look, I'm not saying he necessarily would've done better in the race if he were a better bowler. But it couldn't have hurt.

9. Beat Dan Savage at the advice column game.

10. Devote more time to telling rape victims that they must unconditionally accept the responsibilities of parenthood with a significantly reduced government safety net and no socially provided health care.

11. Make up more laws.

12. Brainstorm "Santorum 2016" bumper sticker designs. Maybe this time with two eagles?

13. Look back with pride on a campaign that he undertook with the sincere belief that he was doing the right thing for his country.

14. Not be president. Hey-ohh!

Photo by Jeff Swensen/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum