Mitt Romney swept the East Coast primaries last night, leaving us with the crushing realization that we're going to be stuck with seven months worth of retreaded jokes about Romney's lack of human touch, like dogs stuck a top Mitt's car. At this point, the last interesting subplot in the Republican primary involves the potential influence America's most intelligent and ideologically consistent lawn gnome, Ron Paul, may exert on the convention in Tampa.
Judging by his performance in Rhode Island and Pennsylvania, where he finished ahead of Newt Gingrich and is likely to garner several delegates, it will be some time before Paul is forced to return to his former profession of yelling at squirrels while handing out poorly mimeographed newsletters at the local park. Paul's relative success — he's generally improved on his 2008 performance — is a result of a novel strategy known as "study the fucking delegates selection rules and follow through after each caucus."
Not everyone in the GOP is happy with the Paul campaign's organizational strength. At a county caucus in Washington State, a Republican official tried to shut down a meeting after a Paul supporter had been elected to chair the gathering.
It's such nefarious rule-learning and organization that will allow Paul to control the Minnesota delegation to the Republican National Convention…
Paul took home 20 of the 24 possible delegates and nearly all the alternative delegates Saturday during the Minnesota congressional district conventions….
Thirteen more at-large delegates will be chosen at the Minnesota state convention, but the delegation demographics there will be very similar to those in the congressional districts, and Paul appears poised to come away with even more delegates after the May 4 convention.
Similarly, Paul is on track to win a majority of Iowa's delegates, despite coming in third place in the unofficial statewide tally. This means the Iowa Caucuses have now had three winners over the past few months, which begs the question — who do these indecisive Iowa voters think they are, Mitt Romney?
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Tags: Iowa, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Primaries, Republican National Convention, Republicans, Rhode Island, Ron Paul