• Ask Rick Santorum: Taking One for the Team

    Just because he's out of the campaign business doesn't mean he's out of the advice business. So, if you have problems, former presidential hopeful Rick Santorum still has solutions!

    .

    Dear Rick Santorum,
    I love going out to the corner bar with my friends, but they never seem content to just hang out and chill with a few brews. Without fail and within an hour, they'll maneuver us into a conversation with a group of women, and I end up getting stuck talking to someone who might be nice but who I have nothing in common with while my friends work on getting lucky. Am I wrong to be annoyed by this? - Unwilling Wingman

    Dear Unwilling Wingman,
    "When you're part of the team, sometimes you take one for the team." - Rick Santorum

    .

    Dear Rick Santorum,
    I get really confused when I hear religious people arguing against government-provided health care and against equal rights for people with whom we have different belief systems? Aren't we supposed to love thy neighbor, do unto others as you would have them do unto you and let he without sin cast the first stone? - Golden Rule, Anyone?

    Dear Golden Rule Anyone,
    "That's not what I believe in… I've never been for any of those things." - Rick Santorum

    .

    Dear Rick Santorum,
    I'm a 23-year-old straight male living in the Bay Area. I do my best to be GGG with my girlfriend but I'm feeling a little TTT (tense, timid and twitchy) over an experimental sexual position she wants to try called the Reverse Rear Admiral. Do you have any idea what I can expect?  - Scared, Cautious and Timorous

    Dear Scared, Cautious and Timorous,
    "There's going to be some ups, there's going to be some downs, and you know what happens when you — when you get that position." Rick Santorum

    .

    Send your questions to Rick Santorum at indecision@comedycentral.com, subject line: Ask Rick Santorum.

    See the last Ask Rick Santorum for more no-nonsense wisdorum.


    Tags: Ask Rick Santorum, Rick Santorum

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.