• Osama bin Laden: Who Would Have Killed Him the Most?

    Tomorrow marks the one year birthday of Osama bin Laden's death, and to celebrate everybody has decided to go crazy and make stupid unfalsifiable accusations at one another and drive down deeper the wedge between left and right America. Because that's how Osama bin Laden would have wanted it.

    In a campaign video, Barack Obama and Bill Clinton teamed up to remind you that Obama killed bin Laden. He killed him real good. He killed him pretty much to death! Oh, and that Mitt Romney would have let him live. And bought him some ice cream probably…

    I don't know about this ad. It seems kind of unfair to present Mitt Romney statements as though they in any way reflected the things that Mitt Romney believes. Even Arianna Huffington called the ad "despicable" which is really bad. Or really complimentary. Possibly both?

    Obviously, Romney could not let a slight like this go unanswered, so he pulled off one of his silken gloves and slapped Obama across the face with this statement

    "Even Jimmy Carter would have given that order," Romney said after a campaign event, giving the 39th president a backhanded compliment if ever there was one.

    Even Jimmy Carter? But he loved Osama bin Laden? Or, wait… No. Is he trying to say that Carter was a more militarily aggressive president than he himself would be, because…  No, that wouldn't make sense. Hmmmm… I'm not exactly sure what that's supposed to mean, other than Jimmy Carter equals bad. So, man, BURN!

    And then Obama made a come back to Mitt Romney's comeback about Obama's initial response to Mitt Romney's original statement

    "As far as my personal role, what other folks would do, I just recommend that everybody take a look at people's previous statements in terms of whether they thought it was appropriate to go into Pakistan and take out bin Laden," Obama said. "I assume that people meant what they said when they said it. That's at least been my practice. I said I'd go after bin Laden if we had a clear shot at him and I did. If there are others who have said one thing and now suggest they'd do something else, then I'd go ahead and let them explain it."

    And then somebody smashed a chair over someone else's head and the piano player accidentally shot himself in the foot and a guy in a gorilla suit ripped a lady's dress off  and everybody on the Internet went totally nuts.

    How was your day?

    Photo by AFP/Getty Images


    Tags: al Qaeda, Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Osama bin Laden, Terrorism

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.