Christine Yancey of Mendon, Michigan (population 917, per Wikipedia) wants your vote for St. Joseph County probate court judge. Probator gotta probate. Sometimes you eat the probate, sometimes the probate eats you. You know? I don't. I have no idea what a probate court judge does.
The bottom of every municipal ballot is full of probate judges and county supervisor aldermen. What do these people do? I'm glad they're doing it — mad civil service respect –- but what is "it"? Don't get me wrong, I always vote, I just don't have any idea who these ballot-bottom-feeders are and what is they intend to do. But I earned that "I Voted" sticker all the same. So, democracy.
After some research into the whats and whys of probate court judges, it turns out that Yahoo! Answers is crazy. It also turns out that Ms. Yancey would be taking on the county's role for a long list of major milestones, like birth certificates and death certificates, and parental guardianship and adoption and marriage licenses and wills and sweet Jesus I've had no responsibilities in life so far.
My very thorough Internet-based research also revealed that probate courts handle hunting and fishing licenses. Probate court, what don't you do? You are the man or woman behind the curtain in the Mendon, Michigans of our nation. We make all this fuss over the president, but can he get your baby and your boat registered in the same day? No. No, he cannot.
As a recently-minted expert on probate court, I'd like to make this recommendation for Ms. Yancey, should her campaign prevail. I think it would be awesome if the probate judge demanded that every will in St. Joseph County include a treasure hunt, so you can have a cool court catchphrase: "Good will hunting!" Something like this would inject some much-needed levity into the proceedings, and would comfort the bereaved.
This is assuming, of course, that the probate judge is actually in charge of overseeing wills. I'm still a little hazy on the details.
Photo by Jim Arbogast/Digital Vision/Getty Images
Previously: Michael Davis, "Progressive GOP, yeah, you heard me"
Our friends at Dr Pepper are going to send Ms. Yancey a one-of-a-kind t-shirt, and you get to choose its slogan:
Want a custom t-shirt of your own? Of course you do! Head to DrPepper.com and get started.
Tags: Michigan, One of a Kind Candidates