• Barack Obama, Our First Metrosexual Black Abe Lincoln President

    barack obamaBefore Newsweek proclaimed Barack Obama "The First Gay President," thanks to his support for marriage equality and the parallels between the President's biracial background and the search for belonging common among gays, Obama was also our "first Jewish president" according to New York Magazine and "the first female president" according to the Washington Post's Kathleen Parker.

    All categorically false, according to a Super PAC funded by conservative billionaire Tom Ricketts, founder of TD Ameritrade and occasional suckler of the federal teat on behalf of his Chicago Cubs…

    The $10 million plan, one of several being studied by Mr. Ricketts, includes preparations for how to respond to the charges of race-baiting it envisions if it highlights Mr. Obama's former ties to Mr. Wright, who espouses what is known as "black liberation theology."

    The group suggested hiring as a spokesman an "extremely literate conservative African-American" who can argue that Mr. Obama misled the nation by presenting himself as what the proposal calls a "metrosexual, black Abe Lincoln."

    Unlike a bi-curious Grover Cleveland or a femme Andrew Johnson, a metrosexual black Abe Lincoln is actually an appealing description of a president, which is why Ricketts may be blowing $10 million of his fortune to inform Americans that Obama is not the metrosexual black Abe Lincoln they had expected.

    Instead, like a racist Phoenix rising from the fevered swamps of the right-wing id, "The Defeat of Barack Hussein Obama: The Ricketts Plan to End His Spending for Good" will reprise Obama's relationship with Reverend Jeremiah Wright

    "Our plan is to do exactly what John McCain would not let us do: Show the world how Barack Obama's opinions of America and the world were formed," the proposal says. "And why the influence of that misguided mentor and our president's formative years among left-wing intellectuals has brought our country to its knees."

    With any luck, Ricketts will go forward with a campaign to do "exactly what John McCain would not let us do" just to find out exactly why McCain didn't do it.

    Related: Birthers Divided on Whether or Not to Get Behind Ridiculous Nonsense

    Photo by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Barack Obama, Conservatives, Jeremiah Wright, John McCain, Super PACs


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