• One of a Kind Candidate: R.J. Morris, Tax Commissioner, Fulton County, Georgia

    R.J. Morris is a candidate for tax collector of Fulton County, and he owes $60,000 in back taxes. His résumé seems to check out. He's not running for tax payer of Fulton County.

    Morris calls himself a tax reform activist, which sounds a lot more industrious than "guy who owes $60,000 in back taxes." For the past three years, he has lobbied against the current Fulton County tax collector, Arthur Ferdinand, whom he blames for his current tax woes. Morris says Ferdinand's office inflated his property prices and then sold the liens (fancy word alert!) to a bastardly collection agency.

    Also, Ferdinand is the highest-paid official in the state of Georgia; he makes $347,000 because of the personal fees he charges. For comparison, the governor makes a mere $139,000. I'm not choosing sides, but it is possible that Ferdinand is secretly the Sheriff of Nottingham.

    Per the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

    "I can't believe that I actually will not beat someone like that," said Morris, who promised not to charge personal fees. "If you vote for Arthur Ferdinand, I’ve got to say you deserve Arthur Ferdinand."

    Can someone from the Atlanta area write in and let us know if Morris is running television ads that consist of him pointing at a picture of Ferdinand and saying "THIS guy. THIS guy… THIS guy!"?

    At best, though, Morris can aspire to being a slightly-less-despised taxman. Sure, his supporters like him now, but what if he wins and receives the ceremonial green visor? Right now he's Mr. Morris, but as soon as he wins it's Ol' Taxman Morris. Because we hate taxes, am I right, America? Here's my impression of the crowd at a tax collector's election victory party: "Hooray! Dickface."

    To sum up, as they do in tax-oriented professions, Morris wants to be tax commissioner, but he has a $60,000 tax problem. Counterpoint: this other jerk is milking Georgia for $347,000 a year. So, you do the math. (Seriously. I can't find my calculator.)

    Photo by Jan Cobb Photography Ltd/Photographer's Choice/Getty Images

    Previously: Christine Yancey, "Gavel-wielding enigma"

    Our friends at Dr Pepper are going to send Mr. Morris a one-of-a-kind t-shirt, and you get to choose its slogan:

    Want a custom t-shirt of your own? Of course you do! Head to DrPepper.com and get started.


    Tags: Georgia, One of a Kind Candidates

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