• Mitt Romney May Be a Unicorn

    After beclowning his state with a two month long investigation of Barack Obama's eligibility to remain on the presidential ballot, Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett confirmed that the matter was "closed" after Hawaii officials provided him with a single-page verification of the president's birth records

    Bennett said he sought the confirmation after getting requests from 1,200 constituents, but his efforts drew criticism that he was pandering to extremists in the Republican party and embarrassing the state.

    Bennett said he is sorry "the thing has been blown out of proportion," but said he was not sorry he took up the issue.

    Bennett should be commended for being so responsive to even the most benighted corners of his constituency, but what about the approximately 17,000 people who have signed a petition, created by progressive group Left Action, asking him to investigate another delicate matter?

    What about the persistent rumors that Mitt Romney is in fact, a unicorn? There has never been a conclusive DNA test proving that Mitt Romney is not a unicorn.  We have never seen him without his hair – hair that could be covering up a horn.

    No, we cannot prove it.  But we cannot prove that it is not the case.  And if Mitt Romney is or may be a unicorn, he is not Constitutionally qualified to be president.

    He's certainly white enough to fit the unicorn profile and the whole "purity" routine that's associated with both the mythical creature and the church to which Romney belongs is a dead giveaway. Stranger things have happened. Look at how far Michele Bachmann has gotten in politics as a Gorgon.

    At the same time, I'm not sure we can trust an alien state like Arizona to look into these rumors. Where is its birth certificate? Last time I checked the history books, Arizona was born in Mexico.

    Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Arizona, Barack Obama, Birthers, Mitt Romney


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