• Defense Bill to Remind Us Why Democrats, Republicans Are Different

    Capitol Dome

    If you're like me, you find it hard to keep track of everything Democrats and Republicans disagree on. Health care, taxation, bailouts, same-sex marriage, climate change, whether Rick Santorum is crazy in a good way or a let's-get-the-hell-out-of-here way — it gets exhausting.

    Luckily, the Republican-controlled House and the Democratic-controlled Senate are working hard to squeeze all their ideological differences into one single, easily understood defense bill

    The House bill banned same-sex marriage ceremonies on military bases and included conscious provisions for military chaplains, while the Senate bill allows the Pentagon to fund abortions in the case of rape or incest. Currently only cases where a woman’s life is in danger are allowed.

    Wow! Lawmakers figured out how to wedge abortion and same-sex marriage into a defense spending bill? It'll only be a matter of time before Democrats demand mandatory tofu burgers for all infantry units. Or Republicans do something equally silly, like try to keep gays from openly serving. Anything could happen.

    I'm just glad partisan divisions are staying clear, with no messy middle-ground to distract from whatever's on the TV…

    The House included $100 million to begin implementing an East Coast missile site by 2016, but the Senate only included language for an assessment. Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), the Senate's ranking member, said this week that he was "skeptical" about the necessity of the site.

    Damn. But on the bright side, that's the closest to maverick he's come in years.

    Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Budget, House of Representatives, John McCain, Military, Senate


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.