Obama called Mitt Romney to congratulate him on officially clinching the GOP nomination, which is like congratulating a grown man for not getting beaten up by children on his way home from work.
Courtesy of a disgruntled Republican insider (who we'll call Dwight Gingrich… No, that's too obvious. Let's call him Newt Gangrene) we acquired what would appear to be a partial transcript of the conversation…
Obama: Hello, Mitt. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Romney: No, Mr. President. I just finished ordering the murder of the man who writes my iPhone copy.
Obama: First I stole Romneycare from you and now you steal secret kill lists from me!
Romney: I do love when you jest, Mr. President!
Obama: I called to congratulate you on beating Newt and Rick. You smoked them so thoroughly, it reminded me of my college days.
Romney: Thank you.
Obama: Now, about Donald Trump…
Romney: I know. He keeps saying embarrassing things to the media.
Obama: Which is why you should make him Vice President.
Romney: Of course! He'll provide comic relief and take heat off me.
Obama:: Exactly. The Joe Biden tactic. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to updating my Pinterest page.
Romney: And I must resume my campaign for President of Amercia.
Immediately after the cordial conversation, both parties hung and up and resumed planning attacks on each other.
Photo by Pete Souza/Official White House Photo
Tags: Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, Mitt Romney