Welcome to The Indecision 11, our soft-hitting–caressing, really–politics questionnaire for smart, funny people. This week: comedian Jimmy Pardo, who hosts the awesome Never Not Funny podcast and the also-awesome celebrity interview series The Pardo Patrol for TeamCoco.com. You may recognize him from his gig as Conan O'Brien's opening act at Conan tapings and/or his Comedy Central Presents special.
What's your earliest political memory?
Waiting in line with my mother in 1979 to vote for Jimmy Carter. I was a child, she was voting, but somehow I remember it being a big deal.
What do you think of people who don't vote?
Commies, plain and simple.
If you could meet any political figure, living or dead, who would it be?
I'd like to meet our 11th president, James K. Polk. Mainly because I'm sure no one has ever said that. By the way, I have no idea if he was a good or bad president. I could have just chosen the worst human being in the history of this great nation. Realistically, I'd choose Bill Clinton.
You're trapped in an elevator with the president. Strangely enough, you also have a superpower: the ability to make him do one thing of your choosing. What would you have him do?
I'd have him buy billboard space all over the country and post his birth certificate, so the hillbillies who think he wasn't born here would shut up. Of course, they would still say that it was fake.
Have you ever supported a candidate, issue or campaign and regretted it later?
I made a huge mistake backing Michael Dukakis. My family is just starting to talk to me again. Thank God his sister Olympia was so good in Moonstruck–I think that helped move things along more quickly in the healing process.
If you ran for office, what would your campaign slogan be?
"If it's too loud, you're too old."
Who do you follow on Twitter for politics news?
I do not follow a single human being on Twitter, political or otherwise.
Fill in the blank: Washington, D.C. is __________________.
The home of the Washington Nationals, who seem to be having a decent year. Go Strasberg!
Who's the sleaziest person in politics?
I'm guessing James K. Polk.
Who's the sexiest person in politics?
The easy answer would be James K. Polk, but I'll say Sarah Palin.
Tell us a joke.
The presidential election in 2000. Yeah, I still can't let it go. This never would've happened if Polk were running.
Photo by Mandee Johnson
Tags: Jimmy Pardo, The Indecision 11