311 isn't just a bitchin' band to listen to after spending the day chillaxing on the waves, brah. It's also the number of Mitt Romney's oceanfront house in La Jolla, CA, just north of San Diego. The one he's planning to quadruple in size and improve with a diamond-encrusted car elevator powered by an platinum robots, or whatevs.
But some of his neighbors are super bummed about him harshing their liberal buzz…
Four doors up the street from the Romneys is the home of Randy Clark and Tom Maddox, a gay couple who meet regularly with other residents worried by the candidate’s renovation plans.
The men, who married in San Francisco four years ago, were asked by Mr. Romney’s architect to sign a document that stated they have no objections to his planned renovations, which would obscure a portion of their ocean view. They refused.
For partisan candor it was hard to top Karen Webber, who lives several blocks away and dislikes the heightened security measures. "If this were Obama," she said, standing near bright orange barriers restricting access to Dunemere, "I’d probably be fine with it."
On top of Romney's mondo house and hot-dogging security detail, there's also the bogus matter of him admonishing weed smokers on the beach…
The Romneys rarely entertain neighbors, but they have tried to weave themselves into the fabric of local life. Mr. Romney and his wife take regular walks around La Jolla, exchanging pleasantries with fellow strollers and occasionally enforcing the law. A young man in town recalled that Mr. Romney confronted him as he smoked marijuana and drank on the beach last summer, demanding that he stop.
This progressive neighborhood is totally going to vote Obama if Romney doesn't stop dorking out on them. On the bright side, if Romney loses, he can always run for president of the neighborhood watch.
And if Obama loses, maybe Romney will let him stay at his place so he can smoke a doobie with the neighbors.
Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Democrats, Marijuana, Mitt Romney, Republicans