• One of a Kind Candidate: Joshua Smith, Florida Senate, Dade City, FL

    Young candidates are so fascinating. What compels them to run, and what makes them think they have the political chestnuts to make decisions that can affect millions? Fill us in, 22-year-old Joshua Smith from Dade City, Florida!

    "The Florida Democratic Party needed someone to run… and if I was willing to do it, they would pay my qualifying fee," Smith said. Oh, well, sure. Okay.

    To be fair, Smith is active in the local Democratic Party and seems genuinely interested in building a career in politics. But nobody operates in fairness any more, because of Communism. Ever vigilant.

    Smith, a University of South Florida student and part-time teacher, got a phone call from the Democratic Party, which was in a pinch to field a candidate for state Senate in District 18, a GOP stronghold. His opponent is Republican Wilton Simpson, an egg farm owner who has already raised $220,000, is running television ads, and presumably has the breakfast-eater demo locked up.

    But Smith is not discouraged, saying he sees this race as a "foot in the door." You hear that, Democrats? You've got fresh-faced talent willing to carry the party flag despite long odds. Nurture him! Mold him! Or, you know, break his spirit and steel him for inevitable defeat. As Matt Murphy, the Democrat who talked Smith into running, told The Tampa Bay Times: "I don't think [Simpson] will be too worried."

    What a shame. If the kid isn't going to get real votes, at least give him a vote of confidence–you don't even need to go to the polls for that. You can phone it in, literally. Just call Smith and say something like, "We value you as human and as a contributor to this planet and/or political party." Manners, people!

    Reached for comment by the same reporter, Smith summed up his bid: "At the very least, the Democrats of Pasco have somebody representing them." Gah, his honesty and aw-shucks fatalism are so endearing they should be illegal. Good people of Florida, please don't hurt him! Why, he's just a baby… a baby shaking hands and kissing babies.

    Photo by Mirko Stelzner/Photographer's Choice/Getty Images

    Previously: Zoe Economou, "Buzzworthy candidate"

    Our friends at Dr Pepper are going to send Mr. Smith a one-of-a-kind t-shirt, and you get to choose its slogan:

    Want a custom t-shirt of your own? Of course you do! Head to DrPepper.com and get started.

    Tags: Democrats, Florida, One of a Kind Candidates, Republicans