• Democrats Avoiding National Convention Like the Plague

    Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a chicken is an apt metaphorical representation of cowardly Democratic lawmakers and the road crossing was the quickest route away from the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina.

    While most liberals will be glad to bask in the warm rhetorical embrace of Barack Obama and other convention speakers, the problem lies with more conservative states. In places like West Virginia, which will not be sending its governor and other prominent Democrats to Charlotte, Democratic convention-goers are less popular than the attendees of ComicCon.

    Among the politicians jumping off the S.S. Democrat are Claire McCaskill, who was a prime time speaker at the 2008 Convention, Heidi Heitkamp, a surprisingly competitive candidate for a North Dakota senate seat, and Jon Tester, the incumbent senator from Montana. The latter abandonment comes as no surprise, since Montana is the state that features a travelling outhouse/"Obama Presidential Library," a revelation stunning only in the discovery that Montana has libraries.

    Nor are House candidates being encouraged to attend the festivities

    "If they want to win an election, they need to be in their districts," New York congressman Steve Israel, chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, told the Reuters Washington Summit on Tuesday.

    Israel emphasized that Democratic President Barack Obama's poll ratings — which have hovered around 50 percent — have little to do with his stance.

    "I don't care if the president was at 122 percent favorability right now," he said. "I think (candidates) should be in their districts," rather than spend time at the convention.

    I'm sure there's no way these candidates' opponents will be able to tie them to Obama and national Democrats now! But just in case, maybe they could take some additional precautions.

    In addition to staying away from this summer's most high-profile party gathering, they could avoid mentioning their party affiliation at all. Still, some voters could suspect that these candidates could be Democrats based on the things they say. So why not keep your mouth shut, or better yet, adopt Republican talking points? Then, they could change their registration to "Republican." That's clearly the path to Democratic electoral success!

    Photo by Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Claire McCaskill, Democratic National Convention, Democrats, Jon Tester


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