How will you be celebrating America on this July 4th? Will you be "summering" at your parents' house? Or participating in a rigorous and mandatory set of physical tasks known as the "Romney Olympics" on a 13-acre compound?
The Romney Olympics have long included a mini-triathlon of biking, swimming and running that pits Mitt and his five sons and their wives against one another. But after Mitt once nearly finished last, behind a daughter-in-law who had given birth to her second child a couple of months earlier, the ultra-competitive and self-described unathletic patriarch expanded the games to give himself a better shot.
Now they also compete to see who can hang onto a pole the longest, who can throw a football the farthest and who can hammer the most nails into a board in two minutes — not exactly the kind of events they'll be giving out gold medals for in London this month.
Was it only a year ago that we heard Mitt pronounce, "I declare the Games of the 14th Romney Olympiad closed and, in accordance with tradition, I call upon the Romneys of the world to assemble one year from now in Wolfeboro, New Hampshire to celebrate the Games of the 15th Romney Olympiad?"
Time does fly when you're spinning the "chore wheel" to split up the family cleaning duties and putting on a talent show on a stage constructed by Mitt himself. Though all these events are vast improvements over the traditional foie gras eating contest that once followed (I assume) the "hobo toss" and "cut the hair off the hippie" competitions.
Still, even some of the more mundane events may make it difficult for the typical voter to relate to the Romneys. The Post notes that Romney helps his grandchildren "roast s'mores over a campfire and leads them on treasure hunts." Does that mean a trip to New Hampshire includes a side jaunt to Switzerland and the Cayman islands?
Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: 4th of July, Mitt Romney, New Hampshire, Sports