• Rep. Bob Kingsbury, Kindergarten Cop

    There's a myth being perpetrated by the media that Republicans hate science. Nothing could be further from the truth. The fact is many right-wing politicians love conducting scientific research in their off time. Next to shutting down Planned Parenthoods, science is probably their favorite hobby.

    Take Rep. Bob Kingsbury of New Hampshire. He just discovered that making children attend kindergarten increases the crime rate. He did this by looking at two isolated sets of data that seemed to confirm his theory that making children attend kindergarten increases the crime rate. If that's not science, then neither is my hypothesis that Planned Parenthood is the number one cause of global warming.

    When he's not busy being an armchair social scientist, Kingsbury uses his powers of logic and reason as a state legislator

    Kingsbury has a history of taking conservative positions in the Tea Party-controlled State House. This includes partnering with supporters of birther queen Orly Taitz to push a bill to partially repeal the direct election of U.S. senators and sponsoring a bill that would raise the minimum age of judges from 18 to 60. Kingsbury has also sponsored legislation to require future state laws to be based on the Magna Carta and said in February that statehood for the District of Columbia could cause New Hampshire's crime rate to rise 25 percent. He is not currently planning kindergarten-related legislation.

    Kingsbury's legislative record makes it hard to believe he isn't planning a bill to put kindergarten teachers in jail for abetting future criminals. As it stands, Kingsbury's political allies refuse to comment on his research. The National Education Association of New Hampshire says there's no credible evidence against sending kids to kindergarten, but what do they know about crime?

    Maybe Kingsbury will have more support once his findings are finally accepted by the scientific community. But he'll need to be patient. After all, it took Galileo hundreds of years to convince everyone the earth was flat.

    Photo by Ariel Skelley/Blend Images/Getty Images


    Tags: Crime, Education, New Hampshire, Republicans, Tea Party

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.