From the Pork Barrel: Coincidence?

* "Akron restaurant owner dies hours after meeting Obama," confirming rumors that almost certainly exist that President Obama is a sleeper agent for a secret international society of stealth assassins. And if not, those rumors will be arriving shortly.

* Barack Obama cannot exist in the same with Fox News.

* Turns out that John Philip Sousa's great-grandson is a first-class birther. Which is kind of disappointing. Until you remember that the patriotic composer was a big fan of bassoons.

* That woman who claims to have had a 13-year affair with Herman Cain wants to fill us in on all the details. We didn't even get any money out of the deal, so why should we be burdened with this?

* Get the Indecision Election Companion, our free app for iPhone and iPad, and then jump into the Peanut Gallery — our liveblog/instant reaction arena — and watch Bobby Jindal’s appearance on ABC’s This Week with us on Sunday July, 8 at 10a/9c. Will it be veepstakesy? Or the veepstakesiest?

Photo by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: ABC, Barack Obama, Birthers, Bobby Jindal, Food, Fox News, Ginger White, Herman Cain, Music, Ohio, Pork Barrel, Sex