Welcome to The Indecision 11, our soft-hitting–caressing, really–politics questionnaire for smart, funny people. This week: Julie Klausner, comedy writer/performer, author, podcaster and all-around purveyor of hilarity. Her first book, I Don't Care About Your Band, was published in 2010 to rave reviews, and she's currently working on a YA novel about an all-girls arts camp. Listen to her podcast, How Was Your Week; read her Real Housewives recaps at NYMag.com; and for heaven's sake, follow her on Twitter: @julieklausner.
What's your earliest political memory?
I remember telling my parents to vote for Walter Mondale because he had a nice smile. I saw his photo on the cover of my Weekly Reader and he really spoke to me.
What do you think of people who don't vote?
I imagine they're probably busy, not into lines, don't care, or believe there's no such thing as the lesser of two evils. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't judge them, which is pretty incredible and forward-thinking of me.
If you could meet any political figure, living or dead, who would it be?
Definitely not Hitler. I'm not looking to change any minds with a single example. I guess Teddy Roosevelt, unless he wanted to go hunting. I'm not into killing rhinos, but I'd love to watch him tuck into a meal and I'd happily walk his dog with him around his property. And depending on how things went, maybe I'd angle for a mustache ride as well.
You're trapped in an elevator with the president. Strangely enough, you also have a superpower: the ability to make him do one thing of your choosing. What would you have him do?
Obama, right? Definitely oral. Haha! I'm joking. Obviously, I'd get him to commit to marriage equality.
Have you ever supported a candidate, issue or campaign and regretted it later?
I'm sure there's a good chance I belched out "Pitbull for president" one night at a dive bar. But I didn't really mean it–I was just into the song.
If you ran for office, what would your campaign slogan be?
"There is really no good reason to own a ferret."
Who do you follow on Twitter for politics news?
Fill in the blank: Washington, D.C. is __________________.
Seriously lacking in late night food choices besides the ol' "giant slice of pizza" option that kept me greasy one January night.
Who is the sleaziest person in politics?
That's a better question for a prostitute stationed in one of the convention cities.
Who's the sexiest person in politics?
Eleanor Roosevelt's ghost.
Tell us a joke.
How about instead I tell you I wasn't really joking when I said "oral" in the Obama answer above?
Photo by Mindy Tucker
Previously: Maria Bamford
Tags: Julie Klausner, The Indecision 11