• Congressional Typo or Chilling Peek into Dystopian Future?

    Just how bad is the economy going to sink before it starts to get better? Some people say we'll be on our way back to normalcy soon.

    Others, including certain pencil pushers in the U.S. House of Representatives, seem to have slightly less optimistic expectations

    House Republicans are expected to pass H.R. 4078, the Red Tape Reduction and Small Business Job Creation Act, on Thursday. The first part of the bill is aimed at only allowing new regulations once the unemployment rate falls to 6 percent or lower.

    But as written, the bill says the reverse — that new rules could only be issued once the employment rate is 6 percent or lower, or in other words, when the unemployment rate is 94 percent or higher

    "[A]ll we've got is a minor clerical error in the committee print and it is our desire to fix it by unanimous consent," said Doug Andres, a GOP staffer on the House Rules Committee. "We hope the Democrats will cooperate."

    Oh, right. It's "a minor clerical error." Sure, I'll totally accept that at face value. Just a simple little harmless typo. No un- where an un- should be. Right. Of course.

    Obviously, there's no reason to suppose that members of Congress are making provisions for what they are fully expecting to be a nightmare scape of mass unemployment, rioting, violence, cannibalism and possibly zoophilia. What do they know?! And what are these "new rules" and "regulations"? Do they involve means for determining who is human and who is not? Do they include the proper procedures for removing a human heart for the purpose of ritualistic sacrifice? Will we have easily drawn out instructions for determining who gets to be a war lord and who gets to be a protein source?

    I just really hope that the Democrats will cooperate fully in getting this all through Congress in time. And that the President gets a chance to sign it into law while he still has his birth hand.

    Photo by Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: House of Representatives, Unemployment

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.