• Mitt Romney to Announce VP Pick Via Mobile App

    Mitt Romney has announced his running mate, and to no one's surprise the lucky being is an Android mobile app.

    Err, perhaps I misread the news. Actually, Romney has released a new mobile app, available for Android and iOS, where he will collect personal user data before eventually notifying his supporters of his choice for vice president. Users can sign up for push notifications to hear the news full seconds before it floods their Twitter feed.

    It's a vast improvement over VP announcements of yore. In 2008, the selection of Joe Biden was sent via text message, though most people still learned the news through network television. Except possibly on NBC, where viewers are still waiting for the announcement. If by 2016 the announcement of Julian Castro or George P. Bush as vice presidential candidate is not beamed directly into my brain via an Obamacare-mandated microchip, then we're clearly experiencing a great stagnation in innovation and will have failed as a nation and a people.

    As for the current bleeding-edge standard in VP announcement technology, the Mitt's VP App (alternative names: Cut the Hope, Angry Elephants, Willards with Friends) features a beige-on-beige color scheme and a cheery Gilded Age typeface. It's really the most 2012 way of saying we should go back to 1890. Can't wait to hear who the next Amercian vice president may be!

    Tags: Mitt Romney, Science & Technology, Veepstakes


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