Those who participated in last week's successful Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day will never forget the day they sat down and ate fried chicken in defense of bigotry.
As the great bard wrote, "gentlemen in America then a-bed/Shall think themselves accursed they were not here/And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks/That fought with us upon Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day." Like with most heroic operations, the men will come back with purple hearts (mostly due to atherosclerosis, not shrapnel, but these are mere details, people).
But what if the struggle was for naught? What if Americans eating at Chick-fil-A have inadvertently been sucking down gay cocks?
But the harsh fact that Chick-fil-A ignores is that, as early as 1764, male chickens have been observed sexually mounting other cocks. How can Chick-fil-A claim to be truly committed to their selective and hateful misreading of the Biblical definition of marriage when the nearly 300 million sandwiches they sell yearly contain chickens, some or all of which might be gay?
That declaration, backed up with studies citing homosexual behavior in chickens and other animals, was made in a Change.org petition demanding that Chick-fil-A put an end to its hypocrisy and serve only 100% certified heterosexual animals.
True, the overwhelming majority of chicken meat comes from hens, but you never know what kind of experimentation they engaged in as adolescent chicks. Your move, Chick-fil-A.
Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Chick-fil-A, Food, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Religion