• Romney "Event" Held at Cocaine Trafficker's "Juice Shop"

    You can't throw a banana in Miami without hitting a convicted cocaine trafficker. That's a lesson the Romney campaign learned Monday after stopping at a local fruit and vegetable stand to hand out juices to the crowd and film a political ad. Come to find out, the proprietor of the stand is a convicted cocaine trafficker. See?

    Here's the story

    The Republican presidential candidate is holding an afternoon rally at Palacio de los Jugos, which is owned by Reinaldo Bermudez, who served three years in federal prison after pleading guilty in 1999 to one count of conspiracy to distribute cocaine.

    Bermudez, AKA "El Guajiro," was a member of 12-person ring that was busted in 1997 for attempting to smuggle more than a ton of yeyo disguised as fish and soap into three South Florida ports. According to Bermudez's indictment, some of his co-conspirators had nicknames straight out of a Hollywood movie, like "Ali Baba," "Skeletor," "Buckwheat," and "Stump."

    Hollywood?! These conspirator nicknames sound more like they come out of a Disney movie! Yeyo! I'm not sure what yeyo means, so I'm just going to start saying it after I make a joke.

    Bermudez actually sounds like a nice guy who has put his past behind him. He claims the Romney camp vetted him beforehand and knew about his past. A drug smuggler has has less compunction about revealing his past than Mitt Romney does his taxes. Put that in your crack pipe and smoke it, Mittens!

    So why is this story news? I called the news and asked them and their response was, and I quote, "YOLO, dawg!"

    Photo by Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty Images

    Tags: Drugs, Florida, Marco Rubio, Mitt Romney


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.