• MN Republicans Reveal Plan to Make Michele Bachmann Seem Normal

    Michele Bachmann suspends her campaignAs part of an ingenious effort to give Michele Bachmann the appearance of a sensible human being, Republican primary voters in Minnesota's first congressional district have nominated Allen Quist to face off against incumbent Democrat Tim Walz.

    A former state representative, Quist spent his legislative career crusading against sodomy — once comparing a university gay counseling clinic to the Ku Klux Klan — and generally saying things that made people wonder how he ever made it to campaign events on time, considering he was travelling all the way from 1490s Spain…

    He called for mandatory AIDS testing as a prerequisite for obtaining a marriage license. And more than a decade before it emerged as a national issue, he campaigned against the advent of same-sex marriage in the Minnesota, running ads in which a priest marries two men, "Mike" and "Steve," and pronounces them "man and man."

    In one memorable interview, Quist told a Minnesota reporter he believed women were "genetically predisposed" to be subservient to men, pointing to, among other things, the behavior of wild animals.

    The alliance with Bachmann arose when the two joined forces to fight Minnesota's state education standards. In order to counteract the "left-wing education agenda," Quist has developed an online curriculum consisting of modules called C-Mods, which are "designed to supplement and/or correct current textbooks."

    And for shame, if your response to this is to ask if he's one of those education reformers who thinks the Loch Ness monster is real and The Flintstones was a nature documentary. Shame on you for even asking. Of course he's one of those people…

    In segment of Quist's curriculum titled Dinosaurs in Ancient Art, he asks, "Did dinosaurs and people live at the same time, and why do so many recently discovered ancient art works accurately picture dinosaurs?" The answer, according to Quist…

    Substantial evidence is emerging which suggests that peoples and dinosaurs actually lived at the same time.

    One example of such evidence is a relief, an artwork carved into a stone wall, of a stegosaurus portrayed on the limestone wall of an ancient temple in Cambodia. The temple is known as Angkor Wat and was built in the in the early 12th century…

    As we can see, there are numerous artworks of ancient people depicting dinosaurs. There is only one reasonable explanation for these artworks — they were made by people who had seen the dinosaurs themselves or had access to previous artworks made by people who had seen them.

    I'm convinced. In fact, forget long-form birth certificates and easily forged voter IDs. It's a petroglyph of your great-great ancestor standing next to a brontosaurus, or nothing.

    And there's a lot of evidence for Quist's point of view. Minnesota used to produce Democrats like Hubert Humphrey, Eugene McCarthy and Paul Wellstone and Republicans like Harold Stassen and Arne Carlson. Now it gives us Bachmann and Quist, which is not evolution anyone can believe in.

    Photo by Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Allen Quist, Education, Evolution, Michele Bachmann, Minnesota


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