David Fowler — president of the Family Action Council of Tennessee, one of those embarrassing public relations firms for Jesus that the big guy probably doesn't know he hired — has finally figured out the meaning of Mark 10:21-22.
The verse reads, "You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me," but the deeper meaning says, "Don't do any of that shit, because if you give the poor any help, they're gonna expect it all the damn time."
So sayeth Fowler…
His solution, posted on his personal Facebookpage, is to follow the advice of the National Park Service: "Do not feed the animals."
"Their stated reason for the policy is because the animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves," Fowler wrote in the post. "This ends today's lesson."
All this stuff must be in the missing Gnostic gospels, the supplementary materials that explains why Jesus chased the money-changers from the temple. (Because there was more room for them in the halls of Congress, duh.)
This also represents progress for many of Tennessee's reactionaries. Yes, they're linking the recipients of SNAP benefits to wild animals and calling for the law of the jungle to apply to human social life, but at least they finally have some nice things to say about Darwinism.
Photo by Tim Boyle/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Animals, Christianity, Food, Tennessee