This is my kind of congressional scandal! First of all, skinny dipping in a Biblical location. Two thumbs up! Second, no rape! A million thumbs up! Finally, the opportunity to stick the words "nude," "romp" and "probe" all in the same headline. They don't even have enough thumbs up for that…
During a fact-finding congressional trip to the Holy Land last summer, Rep. Kevin Yoder (R-Kan.) took off his clothes and jumped into the sea, joining a number of members, their families and GOP staff during a night out in Israel, the sources told Politico. Other participants, including the daughter of another congressman, swam fully clothed, while some lawmakers partially disrobed. More than 20 people took part in the late-night dip in the sea, according to sources who were participants in the trip.
"A year ago, my wife, Brooke, and I joined colleagues for dinner at the Sea of Galilee in Israel. After dinner I followed some Members of Congress in a spontaneous and very brief dive into the sea and regrettably I jumped into the water without a swimsuit," Yoder said in a statement to Politico. "It is my greatest honor to represent the people of Kansas in Congress and [for] any embarrassment I have caused for my colleagues and constituents, I apologize."
I find it extremely difficult to find the scandal in this scandal. A guy went away to one of the most beautiful places in the world, he got a little drunk and then he got his junk out. It happens! And it wasn't even a skeevy kind of junk-getting-out; it was skinny dipping. With the other people in his party. Granted, it sounds like he might have been the only one to get fully naked. But somebody's gotta be that guy. What's that thing Jesus said? Let he who has never been that guy who gets his junk out on vacation cast the first stone. Or something. Besides, to hear my Jewish friends tell it, 90 percent of trips to Israel result in over-drinking and public nudity.
Why is the FBI even involved in this? If the FBI wants to bother somebody about this, they should interrogate Kevin Yoder's penis. Kevin Yoder's penis was the one that caused this issue. When you're on vacation – or "a fact-finding congressional trip" — and you get a couple glasses of wine in you, you take your hand off the wheel and your penis takes over. I wonder if the FBI decided to interview Kevin Yoder's penis…
Travis Smith, Yoder's chief of staff, told Politico "Neither Congressman Yoder, nor his staff, have been interviewed by the FBI."
I guess not.
Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: FBI, House of Representatives, Israel, Kevin Yoder, Nudity