Tropical storm Isaac was a deadly natural disaster that triggered mudslides and flash-floods in Haiti, leaving tent cities ravaged and 10 people dead. By pure coincidence, that also happens to be the name of a fun little metaphor bearing down on the Gulf Coast. Let's count down what soon-to-be Hurricane Isaac really means…
1. It's a penis, coming to get the Republicans. "Isaac doesn't appear to be a Republican, and not only because it presents on the weather map as a throbbing purple penis surrounded by a rainbow," says Andrew Sullivan.
2. It's a giant uterus that will not be regulated, say feminists. It is also coming to get the Republicans.
3. It's a metaphor for Republican gains in November. "I think what you have to remember is Republicans are going to take Washington by storm on January 20th of next year, so if this is the first storm of Republicans taking control of our country again, making America competitive again, I'm fine with that," said luxury car thief and congressman Darrell Issa, "I don't care if we get blown in by a hurricane or a tornado, ultimately there's going to be an earthquake in Washington next January."
And like any disaster, the GOP takeover leave widespread destruction in its wake and require years of federal assistance to recover from.
4. It's a plot on the part of Barack Obama and his National Hurricane Center. A conspiracy so deep, even Rush Limbaugh won't admit it's a conspiracy.
"Okay, 6:45 p.m. Saturday night the Republicans announce that they're canceling Monday. At 6:45 p.m. Saturday night, everybody is still under the impression that Isaac is making a beeline for very close to Tampa. It was an hour and 15 minutes later that the eight p.m. model runs showed New Orleans. I'm alleging no conspiracy. I'm just telling you, folks, when you put this all together in this timeline, I'm telling you, it's unbelievable," said Limbaugh on his radio program.
Won't be the first time conservatives have accused President Obama of conspiring with the Weathermen, though it will be the first time those weathermen were based in the Commerce Department and not Bill Ayers' living room.
Tags: Andrew Sullivan, Darrell Issa, Natural Disasters, Republican National Convention, Rush Limbaugh, Weather