The purpose of a David Brooks op-ed is to introduce America to the real David Brooks. Fortunately, I have spent ten minutes researching the subject. I can provide you with a definitive biography and a unique look into the Swiftian soul of this New York Times political commentator.
David Brooks is a Jewish writer born in Canada on 8/11/61. To paraphrase Churchill, in his youth, Brooks was a brainless liberal but then slowly aged into a heartless conservative. In the early '80s, he wrote a parody of William F. Buckley, Jr. chiding the pundit for being "…in the habit of going into crowded rooms and making everybody else feel inferior. The evenings are reserved for extended bouts of name-dropping." As it turned out, Buckley was so tickled he invited Brooks to write for the National Review. It was during this time that he debated the world-famous economist Milton Friedman on live television. Yeah. That's right. Milton Friedman, MFers. Who's name dropping now?
Brook's trademark is to espouse right-wing ideals right up to the point where he realizes that Republicans might ruin them. He believed strongly that the Iraq war was a good idea until it wasn't anymore. He was also a strong supporter of the McCain candidacy until Sarah Palin was nominated. (Brooks referred to her as both a "joke" and a "cancer", causing some to suspect he didn't know the definition of a joke.)
In his newest piece for The New York Times, Brooks used his scathing wit to beat liberals at their own game: making fun of Mitt Romney…
At the convention, where his Secret Service nickname is Mannequin, Romney will talk about his real-life record: successful business leader, superb family man, effective governor, devoted community leader and prudent decision-maker. If elected, he promises to bring all Americans together and make them feel inferior.
Classic Brooks! It's just like what he said about William F. Buckley Jr! Wait a minute. Maybe Brooks is hoping Romney is so tickled by his satire that he also offers him a job. Maybe speechwriter? Unfortunately for Brooks, it looks like he may have ruined satire for the Republicans.
Editor's Note: This is intended as a parody of Brooks' op-ed on Mitt Romney. The author's only hope is that she, too, doesn't understand satirical writing and that David Brooks offers her a job at The New York Times.
Photo by William B. Plowman – NBC/NBC NewsWire/Getty Images
Tags: David Brooks, Mitt Romney, New York Times