I can't believe there wasn't a cover for watching last night's Republican National Convention. There was a drink minimum (all the drinks), but is that ever a problem when watching political coverage?
The Worst of Tim Pawlenty
1. "But you know, President Obama isn't as bad as people say, he's actually worse. "
2. "The president takes more vacations than that guy on the Bizarre Foods show."
3. "And I'll give Barack Obama credit for creating jobs these last four years for golf caddies."
4. "I've come to realize that Barack Obama is the tattoo president. Like a big tattoo, it seemed cool when you were young. But later on, that decision doesn't look so good, and you wonder: what was I thinking? But the worst part is you’re still going to have to explain it to your kids."
5. "Barack Obama's failed us. But look, it's understandable. A lot of people fail at their first job."
The Comedic Stylings of Rob Portman
You will not beat the Ohio senator at list jokes. Can't be done: "My name is Rob Portman and they say I was on Governor Romney's short list of vice presidential candidates. Apparently, it wasn't short enough."
Mitch McConnell Returns from Turtle Breeding Season
Golf jokes are all the rage: "For four years, Barack Obama has been running from the nation's problems. He hasn't been working to earn reelection. He's been working to earn a spot on the PGA tour."
Mike Huckabee on Those Grating Lady Voices
"But the only hitch in an otherwise perfect week, was the awful noise coming from the hotel room next door to mine. Turns out it was just Debbie Wasserman Schultz, practicing her speech for the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte next week."
The One Joke That Worked, From Paul Ryan
"We're a full generation apart, Governor Romney and I. And, in some ways, we're a little different. There are the songs on his iPod, which I've heard on the campaign bus… and on many hotel elevators."
If enough people are interested, he'll be here for at least 1,460 nights.
Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Mike Huckabee, Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, Republican National Convention, Rob Portman