The Democratic National Convention released its full schedule for the next 24 hours, but there's the things the Obama campaign and their cronies in the lamestream media want you to see and then there's the real behind-the-scenes action.
Official Schedule (5-6pm ET): Call to order by DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman-Schultz; Invocation by His Eminence Metropolitan Nicholas, Bishop of the Greek Orthodox Diocese of Detroit; Presentation of Colors by the Disabled American Veterans; Pledge of Allegiance by the 3rd Grade Class, W.R. O’Dell Elementary School of Concord, North Carolina; National Anthem sung by Amber Riley of "Glee."
Secret Schedule (5-6pm ET): Call to order by Real DNC Chair Bill Ayers; Invocation by The Reverend Jeremiah Wright; Ceremonial Burning of the Colors by The Weather Underground; Singing of "God Damn America" led by the Code Pink Chorus.
Official Schedule (6-8pm): Remarks by Cory Booker, Harry Reid, Joe Kennedy III and others. Tribute video to the Kennedy family and video appearance by President Jimmy Carter.
Secret Schedule (6-8pm): Actual Jimmy Carter gives speech calling for solar panels to be installed on the backs of small business owners. Hologram Ted Kennedy seconds the proposals.
Official Schedule (8-10pm): Remarks by NARAL President Nancy Keenan, Rahm Emmanuel, Kal Pen, Craig Robinson and Maya Soetoro-ng
Secret Schedule (8-10pm): Free Abortions in the NARAL Abortionplex, Remarks by Obama's secret husband.
Official Schedule (10-11pm): Keynote address by Julian Castro with introduction by twin brother Joaquin Castro. Remarks by Michelle Obama.
Secret Schedule (10-11pm): Way more sinister keynote address by Joaquin Castro with introduction by twin brother Julian Castro.
We'll be snarking about all the action that's fit to liveblog beginning 9:00 pm Eastern on our Election Companion App, which you can download for free.
Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Democratic National Convention