• Democrats Were Against God Before They Were For Him

    So claims a just-released ad from the congressional campaign of Rep. Allen West, who is "leading the fight against the radical left's attack on God and Israel." Let's break down the herp-derp…

    * The fauxtroversy began when conservative news outlets noted that the 2012 Democratic platform omitted references to God (while maintaining a large section on faith) and didn't explicitly affirm Jerusalem as the capital of special-est Middle Eastern country that ever was. Democrats were foiled by a Crtl-F search! Just include a reference to "Goddamned Jerusalem" and this would have all been avoided.

    * Rather than ignore complaints about the platform, Democrats — reportedly on orders from the Obama White House — moved to amend the offending language. Thus proving that Bo, despite the handicap of being Portuguese Water Dog, would make an excellent candidate in future elections; the ability to roll over is the key attribute of Democratic politicians.

    * Convention delegates, aware that the platform amendments did not receive the requisite two thirds majority, booed Convention Chairman Antonio Villaraigosa's decision to gavel in the amendments as adopted, thereby launching a thousand hackish ads, the above being the first.

    Congratulations, You now know more than you did two minutes ago and yet somehow you've dropped 5 IQ points just by being aware of this controversy. It's paradoxes like this that your precious science can't explain, Godless Democrats.


    Tags: Advertising, Allen West, Antonio Villaraigosa, Democratic National Convention, Democrats, Israel, Religion

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.