• The Arithmetic of Bill Clinton's Speech

    Call me biased, but I thought having Bill Clinton perform a nearly 50-minute long impression of Bill Clinton was a stroke of brilliance on the part of Democrats. It's possible that the man is very talented speaker…

    Length of the night's big speech: 49 minutes and 10 seconds. Long enough for a fake Paul Ryan half-marathon.

    Minutes of speech enjoyed by Democrats: 49 minutes and 10 seconds.

    Minutes of speech enjoyed by Democrats who have to be at work at 7:30 am, no thanks to the current president's jobs record: 35 minutes.

    Tweets-per-minute during the speech: 22,087 versus 14,289 during last week's speech by Mitt Romney.

    Prepared remarks versus remarks as delivered: 3,136 words v. 5,895 words. Thank goodness no one requested "Free Bird."

    Number of times he admitted to killing Vince Foster if you carefully listen to the speech in reverse: Waiting on The American Spectator to perform this analysis.

    References to balls: One ("It takes some brass to attack a guy for doing what you did.")

    Mentions of arithmetic: 2.

    Southern Country Boy-ness at start of speech: 10%.

    By the middle of the speech: 60%.

    Number of politicians who receive rapt attention when discussion Medicaid block grants: One.

    Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images/Getty Images

    Tags: Bill Clinton, Democratic National Convention


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.