If you squint your eyes a little bit, Larry Flynt looks like a Salvador Dali painting of Donald Trump. But that isn't the only similarity between the two.
There's also the riches, the bankruptcies, the women, the ego, the complete lack of class, the penchant for drama and the Faustian bargain they both made with the Devil. Sweet Jesus, are we sure these two weren't separated at birth? Does it say anything about a twin on Trump's birth certificate? I demand proof!
Speaking of which, that's another thing these two have in common: They're both political conspiracy theorists…
The Hustler publisher bought full-page ads in The Washington Post and USA Today,promising "$1 Million for information about Mitt Romney’s unreleased tax returns and/or details of his offshore assets, bank accounts, and business partnerships."
The ads also ran in papers in Zurich, Bermuda, and the Cayman Islands, home to some of the world’s most infamous tax shelters. The unanswered question, in Flynt’s mind: What is Romney hiding?
That's the million dollar question. What is Romney hiding?
Romney could be hiding anything. One hundred googolplex dollars. An army of pygmy robots with laser eyes. His porn stash.
Flynt has been on a crusade to nail Republicans ever since the Clinton scandal, when he offered a million dollar bounty for any information that would incriminate the conservatives calling for impeachment. Apparently, bounties are not subject to inflation. The measly amount of money aside, this dog hunt for Romney's money trail has already gotten some nibbles…
Meanwhile, the FBI and Secret Service are investigating an extortion attempt by someone claiming to have gotten Romney’s tax returns by burglarizing a PriceWaterhouseCoopers warehouse in Tennessee. The letter-writer is demanding $1 million not to release the returns, but the plot has the earmarks of a hoax.
Too bad. False alarm. Lucky for Flynt he still has two more months. His efforts will either cost Romney the election or continue to piss off Republicans. Either way he'll fall asleep with a smile on his face every night, because that's what this great country is all about. A land where a smut-peddling son of a sharecropper has just as much opportunity to harass people running for public office as the son of a wealthy real estate developer.
Photo by Paul Morigi/Contributor/Getty Images
Tags: Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Larry Flynt