• Tell Your Grandparents to Stop Being Jerks to Mitt Romney

    Older people vote for Republicans. That's the way things have always been; that's the way things should always be. It's the cycle of life. You start out as a young person on the left, you plant your feet and then the entire world shifts leftward past you until you find yourself on the right, and you're complaining about whatever the kids want by then. Robots marrying dogs? Maybe. Who knows. All that matters is that it'll be too weird for you, and you won't internalize any of the good arguments for it, and you'll shake your fist and vote for the Republican who is pretending to be opposed to it to get your angry vote.

    This is a delicate time-honored system, and your grandparents are currently screwing it all up

    New polling by Reuters/Ipsos indicates that during the past two weeks – since just after the Democratic National Convention – support for Romney among Americans age 60 and older has crumbled, from a 20-point lead over Democratic President Barack Obama to less than 4 points.

    Romney's double-digit advantages among older voters on the issues of healthcare and Medicare – the nation's health insurance program for those over 65 and the disabled – also have evaporated, and Obama has begun to build an advantage in both areas.

    Look, you've got to go talk to grandma and grandpa and get them back on board. Forget about Medicare. Forget about Obamacare.┬áThere's still plenty of good reasons why old people should still be all about Mitt Romney. Like, for example…

    * He dresses smart. Ever notice how he's always wearing a nice pressed shirt?

    * He likes nice music. Music you can snap your fingers to. Not that hippity hoppity music like the other one.

    * He goes to church regularly.

    * He looks like that weatherman who kissed your grandma on the cheek that one time at the supermarket. Now, he was a fellow who knew how to be respectful.

    * He and that nice boy Paul Ryan promise to make the world just like it was back when your grandparents were teenagers. Which is good, because kids these days still don't appreciate a good ice cream soda.

    * He is not the Democrat.

    Quite frankly, that really should be all the convincing they need.

    Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Elderly, Health Care, Medicare, Mitt Romney


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