• Mitt Romney Needs His Juice Fix

    Campaigning in Ohio, Mitt Romney decided to replace his usual shtick of patrician condescension with a new strategy: begging for a hit of that good stuff…

    "I need it in a big way," Romney replied. "Come on, you guys, I need you to come through."

    The established consensus holds that Romney is the male version of Arrested Development's Lucille Bluth. Yes, Romney's words sound perfectly convincing coming out of Lucille's mouth, but while the Bluth matriarch is a vodka-swilling Machiavellian, Romney is a hapless teetotaler.

    Forget Lucille, Mitt is our Buster, with the mommy fixation replaced by daddy issues. Whenever Romney adopts his addict routine as above, it's hard to imagine him begging for votes or drugs, but it's very reminiscent of Buster, "We have unlimited juice? (laughs) This party is going to be off the hook."

    And both are over-educated graduates of prestigious preparatory schools! You can always tell a Milford man.

    Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Mitt Romney, Ohio, Television


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