You may have heard rumors of the Obama phone if you listen to Rush Limbaugh or, if you are an old person, you may have forwarded an email about it to your grandchildren. Fact checkers have tried to disprove the existence of the Obama phone using facts. But now the world has all the proof it needs. According to this very credible-looking source, "everybody in Cleveland, no minority, got an Obama phone."
We have no reason to doubt her! We already know iPhone users are often big city liberals who, unlike welfare recipients, are prone to standing in long lines. We wondered what else the ObamaPhone had in common with the new iPhone 5…
iPhone 5 ObamaPhone Slightly larger screen than predecessor, but the retina display includes even more pixels then the 4s. Screen is actually larger than the iPhone 5, but you have to share part of it with a family of illegal immigrants. Still contains the iPhone 4s's Siri, a voice recognition program designed to answer your questions. Also contains Siri, except now she starts every single sentence with the words "Listen, folks…" The headphone jack is now on the bottom. There is no headphone jack because they didn't build that. With iTunes, users can download and store a catalog of thousands of songs. Only knows how to play Al Green songs. But does so quite charmingly. Only available on AT&T, Verizon and Sprint Only available on welfare. Camera now allows users to capture panoramic images. Camera now allows users to take pictures of gay soldiers kissing and nothing else. Replaced Google Maps with Apple Maps, which has already been criticized for not working properly. Replaced Google Maps with Obama Maps, which only works if you ask it how to get to a Planned Parenthood. Many early adopters claim they were initially excited but now that they've purchased the phone, they realize it's not that different from previous phones they've owned in the past. Ditto. Prices range from $199 to $399. It does not cost any money because it is not an actual thing that exists.
Tags: Apple, Barack Obama, Nerdiness, Ohio, Science & Technology