Right now, Mitt Romney is not doing well in the polls. Well, the liberal polls at any rate. The ones that use the old math. It's getting so bad that, if Politico is to be believed — though it's always possible that this is another one of their fantastic satire pieces — Republicans have already started the onerous task of assigning blame…
With Republicans everywhere wondering what has happened to the Mitt Romney campaign, people who know the candidate personally and professionally offer a simple explanation: It's the candidate himself… "He's a great leader, but he's not a great politician," said a top member of Romney’s organization.
I have to admit, this kind of breaks my heart a little. Not that I don't think Mitt Romney deserves any blame for his abysmal campaign. (Last I checked, he did spend the last six years of his life working to get this nomination.) It's that there's so much blame to go around! It takes a village to raise a Romney. Or something.
Here's who I think deserves a fair share of the reprobation…
1. Rick Perry
When he first announced his presidential intentions in April of 2011, the race was his to lose. And, not being a man to squander an opportunity, that's precisely what he did. Had he only been smarter, more capable, better informed, more well-spoken, slightly more decent and not completely hapless, we would be staring down the barrel of George W. Bush's third and fourth terms right now, instead of Jimmy Carter's third.
2. The Lydians of Anatolia
It's hard to say this with any sort of definitiveness, but it certainly seems like a safe bet that, had these ancient inhabitants of Asia Minor not introduced the idea of gold and silver coinage to the world 5,000 years ago, Romney's time with Bain Capital would never have been as prosperous as it ended up being. Because, really, what would they have done with their time? Trade heads of cattle for sacks of grain? Do you know how hard it is to take a picture of yourself with a bunch of oxen falling out of your shirt? Very hard. And incredibly dangerous.
3. Abraham Lincoln
Founder of the Republican Party? Ha! More like founder of this Romney debacle, am I right?
4. The John McCain-Sarah Palin '08 Ticket
If only they had tried a little harder, sank a little deeper, hated a little hatier, we could be looking forward to four more years of President McCain and Vice President Palin (followed by eight years of President Palin and then 40-something years of Empress Palin). Without the prospect of the Republican nomination to keep his opinions conservative, Romney would likely have flip-flopped over to the liberal side of the aisle, and his awful skills as a presidential candidate would be the Democratic Party's problem right now.
5. Barack Obama
Every other problem facing America today is Barack Obama's fault. Why should this be any exception?
Photo by Scott Olson, Rainier Ehrhardt, Darren Hauck/Getty Images News/Getty Images; Jeff Kubina/Wikimedia Commons
Tags: Mitt Romney