Did you know every time an 18-year-old candidate runs for an office, a local TV producer's eyes roll back like a great white shark's? A clip of a teenager in a suit talking nervously, an adult saying, "Even if he doesn't win, it's great to see young people get involved," then a shot of two people standing in front of a lawn sign chatting casually, as if that's where they always hang out. Boom, let's put this segment to bed. It's two-for-one jalapeno blasters at McHoulifuddy's.
Everyone, meet Aziz Akbari, an 18-year-old running for mayor of Fremont, CA who flies home from college on the weekends to campaign and talks like an 18-year-old who is really passionate about vacant business parks and easy highway access. We're going to need a bigger boat! (Jaws jokes.)
First, Aziz Akbari is not Aziz Ansari. I feel like some of you may need that spelled out. Akbari is a sophomore at USC majoring in mechanical engineering, minoring in computer science and pre-law.
Although he is not Aziz Ansari, we have reason to believe that Aziz Akbari has dabbled in stand-up comedy. That reason is this video:
His set isn't bad, for a first-ever set. Mostly wordplay. He took a little long to build up that first joke, and the Justin Bieber bit felt gratuitious, but unlike Bieber he didn't throw up on stage. So, pretty good gig.
Now, just in case amateur stand-up and fancy academic pursuits don't get his constituents' attention, Aziz is on Twitter and YouTube and Facebook, plus he has someone developing an iPhone app for his campaign. He's so ambitious! Maybe too ambitious. Aziz, you're still young. So young. This thing called life is a marathon, not a sprint. Just punch in 55378008 on a calculator and hold it upside down, then take a nap.
This is good advice for campaign technology and stand-up comedy.
Photo via Aziz4Mayor on Facebook
Previously: Blong Yang, "Blong shot"
Our friends at Dr Pepper are going to send Mr. Akbari a one-of-a-kind t-shirt, and you get to choose its slogan:
Want a custom t-shirt of your own? Of course you do! Head to DrPepper.com and get started.
Tags: California, One of a Kind Candidates