There's no better way to judge a debate than on the Six Sigmas of business executive Jack Donaghy: teamwork, insight, brutality, male enhancement, hand-shake-fulness and play-hard. So who won the handshake?
Positioning: Mitt Romney began with advantageous position, his active hand appearing closer to the camera. President Obama negated this advantage with an aggressive bicep grab. Winner: Obama
Creativity: Eschewing the possibility of a "terrorist fist jab" or a complex series of "boyz in the hood" maneuvers, President Obama conceded a tactical advantage. Winner: Romney
Return to Podium: President Obama was first, communicating virility and aggressiveness, but reminding viewers of his speedy Kenyan heritage. Winner: Draw
Overall Winner: Obama
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