• A Republican Natural History of Life on Earth

    Circa 7000 B.C: Earth created. "You see, there are a lot of scientific data that I've found out as a scientist that actually show that this is really a young Earth. I don't believe that the Earth's but about 9,000 years old. I believe it was created in six days as we know them. That's what the Bible says." – Rep. Paul Broun, M.D., 9/27/12

    7000 B.C. + 3 Days: Let the earth put forth grass, herb yielding seed, and fruit trees, which shall pollute the earth. "Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." – President Ronald Reagan, 8/80 

    7000 B.C. + 6 Days: Humans! "I think there is a theory, a theory of evolution, and I don't accept it. … The creator that I know created us, each and every one of us and created the universe, and the precise time and manner… I just don't think we're at the point where anybody has absolute proof on either side." – Rep. Ron Paul, M.D., 11/1/07

    7000 B.C. to 3000 B.C.: Dragons! "[Is] it possible that a fire-breathing animal really existed? Today some scientists are saying yes. They have found large chambers in certain dinosaur skulls…The large skull chambers could have contained special chemical-producing glands. When the animal forced the chemicals out of its mouth or nose, these substances may have combined and produced fire and smoke." - Life Science, 3rd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 2007, a textbook authorized for use in taxpayer-supported private schools in an initiative supported by Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal.

    7000 B.C. to Present: Protection from Climate Change. "Well actually the Genesis 8:22 that I use in there is that 'as long as the earth remains there will be springtime and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, day and night.' My point is, God's still up there. The arrogance of people to think that we, human beings, would be able to change what He is doing in the climate is to me outrageous." – Sen. Jim Inhofe, 3/7/12

    1500 B.C.: Rape of the Midianites (Numbers 31:7-18 NLT) produces few offspring due to women's special secretions. "When that traumatic experience is undergone, a woman secretes a certain secretion, which has a tendency to kill sperm." - Pennsylvania State Rep. Stephen Freind, 1988

    "The facts show that people who are raped — who are truly raped — the juices don’t flow, the body functions don’t work and they don't get pregnant.  Medical authorities agree that this is a rarity, if ever." – North Carolina State Rep. Henry Aldridge, 4/20/95

    "If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that down." – Rep. Todd Akin, 8/19/12

    A.D. 1760: Industrial revolution improves environmental quality. "The dangers of carbon dioxide? Tell that to a plant, how dangerous carbon dioxide is." – Rick Santorum, 3/12/12

    1859: Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species emerges from the pit of Hell.  "All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the Big Bang Theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell." - Rep. Paul Broun, M.D., 9/27/12

    1973: Legalized abortion and corrupt medical practices leads to first abortion on non-pregnant individuals: "You find that along with the culture of death go all kinds of other law-breaking: not following good sanitary procedure, giving abortions to women who are not actually pregnant…" – Rep. Todd Akin, 1/22/08

    2007: U.S. corporations begin experiments first elucidated in the Steven Spielberg documentary Pinky and the Brain. "American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains. So they're already into this experiment." – Delaware Senate Candidate Christine O'Donnell, 11/16/07

    2010: Natural oil effusion from the Gulf of Mexico mixes painlessly with surrounding environment, leaving the ecosystem unharmed.  "The ocean will take care of this on its own if it was left alone and left out there. It's natural. It's as natural as the ocean water is." – Rush Limbaugh, on BP oil spill, 4/30/10

    Original image by Francesco Reginato/The Image Bank/Getty Images


    Tags: Climate Change, History, Republicans, Science & Technology

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