Biome Michael Erickson, is that your original name? I'm thinking maybe it's not. It's a bit of a jump from Biome to Michael Erickson, no? Whatever you call him, the man is running for mayor of Ashland, Oregon, and here's how he introduces himself and his campaign…
The requirements, as I understand them, to qualify for Mayor are these: I had to be an Ashland resident and I had to be registered to vote. This means, simply, I had to be Human to be Mayor. [...]
My position is that of an ordinary human being. What else could it be? I have the same needs as every other creature on this planet. I breathe, posture, and attitude. I have a heart, brains, guts, and a spine. I eat and drink. I work. I exercise, play and sleep.
It's about time we asked elected officials to prove their humanness. What exactly is a "Joe Lieberman," anyway? Animal, vegetable or mineral?
But back to Biome, and why this human runs…
I am running for Mayor to contribute towards the reclamation of our world in the name of peace, truth and justice. I am running for Mayor to carve out a political vacuum wherein the citizens of Ashland can set this City straight, on a course of holistic interdependence.
Way to go, Biome. Even if you shoot for the moon (holistic interdependence) and miss, you’ll still land in the stars (city council minutes).
As you've probably noticed by now, Biome has a whiff of the hippie about him, and I don't mean that disparagingly. Au contraire, mon patchouli-ere. What's so goddamned funny about peace, love and understanding?
Besides, if there's one thing we learned from the first presidential debate, it's that candidates have to be awake, and they have to keep the public from falling asleep. At a recent candidate roundtable Biome did just that. Here's how he asked to be introduced…
Likes local neighborhood figs and almonds for an afternoon snack. Thinks grizzly bears, earthworms, wolves, salmon and Native Americans are magnificent creatures.
Now that's a sharp introduction. I mean, besides that last part, which seems a little awkward. And the first part, because as far as I know the law does not allow earthworm-Americans to vote. Although maybe that's changed in Ashland?
Speaking of laws, here in America it's perfectly legal to look up government documents. There's all sorts of interesting information just waiting for you in official archives. Facebook's like, "We've got your Halloween party photos," and government websites are like, "We have your everything." What I’m trying to say is, Biome's real first name is Keith (.pdf warning).
Photo via biomeformayor.org
Previously: Aziz Akbari, "Aziz. Not that one."
Our friends at Dr Pepper are going to send Mr. Erickson a one-of-a-kind t-shirt, and you get to choose its slogan:
Want a custom t-shirt of your own? Of course you do! Head to DrPepper.com and get started.
Tags: One of a Kind Candidates, Oregon