When Herman Cain was unceremoniously and unfairly forced from the Republican primaries simply for being unqualified, uninformed and a tad too sexually liberated, we all assumed that Big Pizza would be playing the role of the kingmaker.
Well, if this press release masquerading as a news item is to be believed, it looks like we were all wrong. And don't we all feel pretty stupid right now…
The Pizza Party is offering free pizza for life to an official attendee who asks either of the participants the age-old burning question – Sausage or Pepperoni? – during the live telecast town hall format presidential debate on Oct. 16 at Hofstra University.
Pizza Hut, which last week announced the long overdue formation of The Pizza Party and introduced its crowd-pleasing Big Dinner Box as the Party's candidate, will reward the free pizza should the question get asked…
"We recognize there are a lot of serious issues to be debated, but we also know a lot less serious – but no less important – ones are being discussed every night inside houses across the country," said Kurt Kane, CMO, Pizza Hut. "So for the candidates to be able to show that they're in tune with all the issues, we felt a pizza-related question on behalf of The Pizza Party was very appropriate for a town hall debate."
Well, now I really want to know!* Though, I think we can guess with something approaching 90 percent accuracy how the candidates would respond: Mitt Romney will smile broadly and loudly proclaim that he has eaten your pizza food on many happy occasions, and then he will say that both sausage and pepperoni are his all time favorite topping.
Barack Obama will say that, while both sausage and pepperoni are fine toppings, his favorite pizza accouterment – and he will actually use the word "accouterment" — is still broccoli. Or some asparagus. Or something. The entire audience will groan, and David Axelrod will spend a news cycle talking about how the President just can't stop eating pepperoni.
And, thus, democracy will be served.
* Short answer: No. Long answer: Definitely no.
** I do not actually really want to know.
Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Barack Obama, Debates, Food, Herman Cain, Mitt Romney