The advent of SuperPACs and the general flood of money into political campaigns may be wrecking our democracy, but is that such a steep price to pay for hilarious campaign ads? The Founders would surely say no.
Though presidential campaigns get most of the attention, we must also honor the House and Senate campaigns that deliver on our founding promise of life, liberty and LOLs.
Best Use of Farm Animals in Congressional Campaign, Runner Up
Campaign: Roger Williams (R-TX) for Congress
The Ad: Titled "The Donkey Whisperer," it's the only ad this cycle whose name can also double as the name of a show in Tijuana. But Williams's version is much more family friendly and downright cute. Yes, it's an argument for letting poor people die without access to health insurance but it's an adorable argument for letting poor people die without access to health insurance. (Technically aired in 2011, but for the 2012 cycle).
Best Use of Farm Animals in Congressional Campaign, Winner
Campaign: Ted Yoho (R-FL) for Congress
The Ad: Titled "Pigs," it was successfully employed in a primary against longtime incumbent Cliff Stearns. As he kids say, this is what happens when Yoho goes YOLO.
Best Penile Length Overcompensation Using Firearms, Runner Up
Campaign: Ron Gould (R-AZ) for Congress
The Ad: It's pretty basic: man takes break from busy day of shooting undocumented workers who merely want to feed their families to shoot some papers symbolizing Obamacare, presumably because pumping buckshot directly into the future recipients of government-subsidized healthcare tested poorly in focus groups. What makes it truly magnifique?
The ad features men fondling guns and includes appearances from Gould's sons, Ron Jr. and Robert Gould. But Robert does not carry a weapon in the ad, and for good reason: In January, he was sentenced to 90 days in jail after a felony theft conviction, which makes it illegal for him to possess firearms.
Best Penile Length Overcompensation Using Firearms, Winner
Campaign: Rob Wallace (D-OK) for Congress
The Ad: Titled "Water Ad," it threatens to take Oklahoma to war with Texas, the most win-win policy since early childhood education.
Best Parody of Existing Commercial
Campaign: Crossroads GPS on behalf of Josh Mandel (R-OH) against Senator Sherrod Brown (D-OH)
The Ad: An ad spoofing the DirecTV ads that unveil an increasingly unlikely stream of consequences from the premise of a cable TV subscription. Though the most implausible consequence this ad foresees is Mandel actually being a good Senator.
Tags: Advertising, Arizona, Florida, House of Representatives, Ohio, Oklahoma, Senate, Texas