• Things Mitt Romney Would Do for Meat Loaf's Love (But He Won't Do That)

    By now you may have already seen Meat Loaf's infamous endorsement of Mitt Romney featuring a rendition of "America the Beautiful" that sounds like it was literally sung by a bat out of hell. If not, you can watch it starting at 45 seconds into this video…

    For the record, that isn't even the first time Mitt Romney has mercilessly butchered that song. Why won't the Romney campaign just leave "America the Beautiful" alone?!

    The whole thing begs the question — no, not "Why, God? Why?" — of how Mitt Romney do it? How does he secure the endorsement of major rock stars, such as Ted Nugent, Kid Rock and now Meat Loaf? I don't know about the other two, but I have a few ideas for possibilites on how Mitt Romney wooed Mr. Loaf…

    Things Mitt Romney Would Do to Secure Meat Loaf's Love

    1.) Forgive Meat Loaf's inability to properly conjugate verbs.

    As Meat Loaf stated in his speech endorsing Romney at a campaign rally…

    "I have never been in any political agenda in my life, but I think that in 2012 this is the most important election in the history of the United States," he said. "Because there has (sic) storm clouds come over the United States. There is (sic) thunder storms over Europe.

    Did you know the first draft of Meat Loaf's most famous song was, "I will done anything for love but I won't is that"?


    2.) Ask Ann Romney to make the food version of him on the Rachael Ray Show.

    Mitt Romney’s better half played up her down-to-earth side during an appearance on the "Rachael Ray Show," getting her hands dirty shaping her meatloaf cakes…

    Coincidence? I guess if she really wanted to appeal to Meat Loaf, she could have just made his favorite food: a chocolate cake filled with nacho cheese, all of it shaped like a giant pair of boobs.


    3.) Ask Paul Ryan not to push Meat Loaf off a wheelchair.

    Meat Loaf also threw out this gem in the middle of his endorsement speech

    "I am 65 years old standing up here tonight in front of you. And I want you to know at 65 that Paul Ryan has not pushed me off the cliff in a wheelchair.”

    You have no idea how much Paul Ryan wanted to throw Meat Loaf off a cliff in a wheelchair before Mitt Romney stopped him.


    Thing Mitt Romney Won't Do to Secure Meat Loaf's Love

    Say the name of Meat Loaf's two most popular albums Bat Out of Hell and Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell. According to The New York Times

    "He actually said that," recalled Thomas Finneran, the speaker of the Massachusetts House of Representatives when Mr. Romney was governor. "As in, go to 'H-E-double hockey sticks.' I would think to myself, 'Who talks like that?' "

    Clearly, Mitt Romney is the true Rock & Roll candidate!

    Tags: Meat Loaf, Mitt Romney, Music


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